Surviving lockdown #2 by making time to reconnect with colleagues, just might help your relationship too…
Thank heavens for all this technology…even if the lighting makes me look like I’m sunburned.
Along with much of the world right now, my husband (Pete) and I are both working from home. We're lucky: we have no school-age kids, we each have our own computers, we have good internet and we have separate rooms to work in.
We are finding, however, that constantly being together without anyone else is starting to take a toll. Normally we love to spending time together; we're a second-time-round couple so we do our best not to repeat the mistakes we've already made. We try to communicate about issues early, share the housework and not take each other for granted.
We even make a point of cooking together most evenings. We divide dinner duty into two roles: the 'chef' and the 'chop dog'. The 'chop dog' is actually the more coveted position because you get to just sit at the breakfast bar and focus on one thing, well, two things if you count mixing the gin and tonics. The 'chef' is the one dancing around being creative and busy and making sure nothing burns. This is how we normally debrief about the day, crack jokes and generally settle into the evening.
But the other night we had a fight about how much salt was in the salad dressing. Yes, this was the hillside we decided to take our stand on. And it got pretty heated. Ridiculous, I know, and very uncharacteristic for us.
So why did we get scratchy with each other? It has a lot has to do with how our work lives have changed.
Firstly, the other person is constant: spending time together is no longer an enjoyable luxury to be cherished around busy lives lived largely outside the house - we are simply in the same space all the time.
Secondly, work is more tiring: normally an 8 hour day is broken up with walks to and from meeting rooms, the delicious, slightly guilty, morning coffee that is 20% work and 80% 'team-building', and lunches with colleagues. This picture makes me almost giddy with longing and nostalgia.
Thirdly, we don't have the usual micro-interactions: quick asides to colleagues as you walk past a desk, or the chat and laugh at the start and end of most meetings - online meetings are so much more formal and focused.
Thinking about all this made me realise just how much I'm missing all those incidental low-cost high-value interactions with colleagues. You don't have to schedule anything and you don't have to expend large amounts of mental or emotional energy. You just get small, positive, warm interactions throughout the day.
I also realised how much I'm missing the collaboration. When things were normal I loved nothing more than getting a trusted colleague into a meeting room to brainstorm ideas. Even if they disagreed with me, it was helpful to bounce ideas around. So I've started consolidating strategies to help with the loneliness of working at home.
My top 6 tips for surviving lock-down #2
Schedule non-work 'dates' with colleagues: I've started booking a couple of 30 minute catch-ups per week with individual team mates and even colleagues outside my team just to say hello. I make sure they know that work talk is completely optional and obviously that they can decline if they're too busy.
Have a morning 'stand up': We've kept our 15 minute Agile stand-up every morning via video conference. This is a great way to set intentions for the day and also catch a glimpse of what the rest of the team is up to. These are short and sharp, and very work focused, but we're always looking for opportunities to support each other. They're also good for routine - I have to be dressed and presentable at the same time every morning.
Have an afternoon 'sit-down': Our team has implemented an afternoon 'sit-down' near the end of each day. This is a less-formal 30 minute meeting and currently my favourite part of the day. Although this is usually where our manager gives us company updates and team announcements, this meeting is less about work and more about connecting as human beings. Also good for routine and to bookend the day.
Simulate the morning coffee run: Two weeks ago Pete and I were talking about all this and how much we missed the coffee run. He reminded me that we have a small cafe just 10 minutes walk from our house that is struggling. So we've started going for the morning coffee run and it's made everything feel more normal. If you're worried about Covid exposure you could try just going for a quick walk around the block, with or without your squeeze. Or even just make yourself a cup of tea or coffee and stand outside for a few moments mid morning.
Find platforms for micro-interactions: My team has Slack which is great for quick human connections throughout the day. I've also just organised to touch base more frequently with an ex-colleague-now-friend for those 'can you just look over this email for me' and 'I may be crazy, but I'm thinking of doing X' moments. If you don't have Slack, remember there are plenty of other messenger services including LinkedIn, Google chat, WhatsApp etc.
I'm definitely less cranky and more productive as a result of these strategies. I'd love to hear more ideas, so feel free to comment below. And call me if you want a quick chat or you need someone to bounce an idea off!
(Bonus tip) Dance like no one is watching: I have made myself the trashiest, funnest, most ridiculous playlist, and when I know Pete is in a meeting I put my headphones on, find a quiet spot in the house and get my boogie on. Sheds the fidgets and gets the heart pumping. Recommend!